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And there it was. That definite moment where I fell right between your words to burrow myself in your chest, your heartbeat synchronizing with my breath. That moment I took refuge in your smile - where I realized I was no longer mine and all I wanted was to be yours… but I kept it quiet and let my words decay. I Kissed you on the cheeks as your slumbers took you away. 

So today, kids, I discovered the best drug in the world.

Silence.

It’s amazing how all of a sudden I can turn the whole world against me. All it takes is a little self convincing.

Last night I dreamed we were at an awkward family dinner together. Neither your family nor mine were there - i’m not sure who’s family it was. but we were there, and your hand was around my waist. I reached my left arm out to grab my class of wine and I noticed my tattoo was not there, so this is the point where I realize I’m dreaming. 

I grab your arm and fly us out of the house. We ride floating bicycles along the greenbelt. 

Our limbs grow tired, and we roll onto the grass where the sprinklers are running. Your touch is so electric.

We tumble over each others bodies, our smiles reaching the moons. You kissed my cheek and called me yours - holding my hips close. 

I hear a chirp in the distance, and everything fades away. 

I guess -

among all this madness

someday

I hope you’ll miss me. 

I lay in this empty bed with arms of ghosts wrapped around my limbs. Filling the shadow casts with the sweet smell of summer I always find on your skin.

I’m gunna be famous one day mama Just wait and see I’m gunna be famous one day mama They’ll make a star out of me

and then sometimes I hear that song 

the one playing in the background the exact moment

I fell deep into your tangled iris

-

I lost myself in those beautiful eyes

and fell in love.

-

just you just you just you just you

I’m getting sore of this piano bench waiting for these roots to take hold - blossom my thoughts into flowers -weaving my fingertips along these bitter keys that have taken a special interest in mocking me. 

a lot.

mostly about you. 

I’m inspired

a lot.

mostly by you. 

I dream about telling you

but I’m inspired by the mystery.

and that would make this so much more complicated.

I am so inhumanely tired, and so irrationally scared to fall asleep. 

What do you do when your reality becomes safer than your dreams?

stupid girl

-

always finds a way to blame herself